Day six- and feeling sick

Yesterday was the second last day of my week long odyssey (I must check now how long an odyssey is actually supposed to be).

Myself and the better half strolled into town. For breakfast we'd both eaten a handful of nuts which (worryingly) stated on the back of the packet they SHOULD NOT BE EXPORTED OUT OF THE PHILIPPINES. It was The Philippines' loss; those things were delicious.

After the danger-nuts we ambled into town to do a bit of shopping, deciding to stop by Cornucopia for some eats. The fat sod inhaled two Yops on the way there (and teased me about it, the dairy-loving meanie) and wasn't in the mood for a plate of vegetables by the time we arrived. I opted for a mess of salad and what I ineloquently referred to as the "red stuff" and the "yellow stuff". With a side of salad, it was probably the healthiest breakfast I've ever eaten.

I've never actually been to Cornucopia before, which is a little shocking, really. I pride myself on being something of a gourmand, and having worked in catering, I've eaten (often when I shouldn't have been eating) some interesting vegetarian alternatives. However, the fare in Cornucopia didn't strike me as particularly delectable, and while this isn't a restaurant review, the staff were a little bit snappy. When I went into Govinda's the other day I expected to be treated like the ignoramus I am but when I asked for "all the vegan stuff" she just piled away, ladle-happy.

In Cornucopia, imbued with the confidence of the never-bitten, I proffered the same request, to be greeted with a sneer.

"They're all vegan."

"Oh... Can I have a mix?"

(Darting sideways glances, hushed voices. It was like University Challenge, except in this instance I didn't get to snap "No conferring.")

They did give me a mix in the end but you'd think I'd asked for meat or something similarly offensive. With two spoons of salad and a bottle of sparkling water I was €15.45 out of pocket and a little out of sorts. The lad had a blueberry tart which I contemplated with jealousy. We both stared at it, wondering just how vegan it might be until he eventually smeared cream all over it, sorting out the problem.

"If it was vegan, it's definitely not anymore."

After that we strolled around town for a while. He chatted about his dinner that evening- burgers.

I hopped off the bus not too far from my humble abode and nipped into Centra. I went to the frozen food cabinets to see if there was anything palatable in them. A few battered looking boxes of Quorn burgers sat sadly toppled to one side. I decided to give them a good home and fished out the least abused looking box.

They were lemon squeezy to cook- two minutes in the microwave and I had me two burgers. I ate both of them, tossing the second half of each bun as I started to fill up rather rapidly.

Not too long after I started to feel very ill. I wondered if perhaps I had eaten too much and went to bed to try and nap off the tummy ache. Later that night, over a glass of what I hope was wine that hadn't been filtered through fish bones, which apparently is how a lot of alcohol is processed, I informed the gang of my Quorn misadventure only to bury my face in my hands two seconds later as Velo Vegan exclaimed:

"Quorn isn't vegan!"

It all made sense: my body was rejecting the eggs.

I suppose today is nearly over but you'll have to wait until tomorrow to read the last entry (about today). Who knows- I might get up in the middle of the night and eat a steak wrapped in a rasher and fried in butter. I know, I know. The suspense is killing me too.